emoticon sounds like a good name for a robot...or a girl.

or a robot girl...




i feel like my grammar and writing structure is so poor

that even when I'm writing sober it has a certain

intoxicated pizazz (that's right i took it to the

thesaurus for that sentence). in fact i think from now

on I'm going to throw in "intoxicated pizazz" in at least

once a day (in more than one way ). ill wield "intoxicated

pizazz" so well it will be synonymous with the name

Dartagnian (i will also change my name to Dartagnian) and

will be carved into the front of my tombstone along with

the words "for a good time call(insert your name here) , at first

you'll be mad but then it will be funny, the funny will

change to sad then cycle back into anger and finally settle

into quiet reflection followed by uncontrollable crying

jags. at least that's how i imagine it.

for posterity's sake

best friends forever is not the first thing to pop in my head when i hear b.f.f.

i don't understand why anyone would ever beat a "dead horse".

i love The Angry Beavers!

is soo addicted to stumbling that it affects personal relationships and now i think i have a.d.d.

really likes Survivor Man, but Man vs. Wild not so much.

feel guilty about loving thunder storms because i cant help but think about homeless people and animals:(

hopes that recycling will help balance my hour long shower karma.

likes to let my place get really mess than tackle it in one fell swoop.

owns enough excersize equipment to start my own Jim, pardon moi I mean gym.

in theory loves to read but seems the smell of books makes me fall asleep.

i dream every night and remember most of them. unfortunately their mostly nightmares.

i get hurt really easy. seriously my skins tears easier than an orange. i bet you thought i was going to make some kind of fruit bruise connections.

i have recently stopped typing with two fingers.

one year when julie and i went to Bayfest we were asked to be Hooters dunk tank girl and we totally did it. and another year i accidently started a military hummer that they had on display (and for some reason julies first reaction was to buckle up).

my pecs hurt (because i juiced um).

i think The Ten might be my favorite movie.

i floss almost obsessively.

over the years my spelling skills have progressivley gotten worse.

still think about my favorite pair of jeans that mysteriously vanished over ten years ago and about the bra that mysteriously showed up, i assume to take its place.

just found out Hogan's Heroes is not about The Hulk but infact is about airforce pilots in a Nazi camp.

i think swear words are the mustard on a spicy sentence sandwhich.

for the most part poop is the first word when im asked "whats the first word to pops into your head?".

you probably didn't know this but i'm a logophile...

Now before you contact the local authorities it means "lover of words", ya cynic.
so there will probably be quite a few of these vocab posts of words I'd love to be able to use in everyday conversation without sounding like a pretentious douchette but alas those are not the cards we're dealt so I'm forced to indulge myself here.


formication- the imaginary sensation one gets of bugs crawling on the skin.


defenestrate- to throw something out the window.


lethologica- describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.


kenophobia - fear of open spaces.


eldritch- suggesting the operation of supernatural influences.


bellicose - having or showing a ready disposition to fight.


metagrabolized - totally perplexed and mixed up.


pugnacious - tough and callous by virtue of experience.


well those are a few of my favorite words. you should try and use one at your next dinner party or mosh pit, i'm not here to force labels on you:)

from my old myspace profile. keep in mind i was a younger more rash eviltwin

im just a cave man.
is it just me or are most of the itunes commentors kinda pretentious dicks? i swear i don't know why i still read them (but at least its not racist, chauvanistic dribble like on youtube). anywho, the reason i bring this up is there is a music video with a pigman and there were 2 different responses 1. whoa the symbolism blah blah blah, he's a genius blah blah blah, your too stupid to get his ingenious symbolism blah etc... or 2. he's an idiot blah blee blah, im not stupid your the stupids blah blah bloo. i get both points but i think it would have been more helpful if the far superior primates could have just spelt it o-u-t for the rest of us cromags.

p.s. i bet lovemonkey767 is a 12 year old






i think i just subscribed to my own blog
how sad.

sitcoms id totally watch

parole officer loses his job and becomes a kindergarten teacher. too much like kindergarten cop?

how about a show thats like The Office but its albert einstein when he worked in the patent office? im not sure if he would be a jim or a dwight.

or a show like Friends where one of the roomates is a kleptomaniac that works at a pet store? endless possibilties with that one.

or hows bout' a grocery store run by puppets?

a scifi show where the main character is dead? not like kai on the lexx i mean dead like crais' brother on farscape except not all blowed up.

i wish i owned nbc (but id settle for abc).

here goes nothing!

This is my blog. There are many others like it but this one is mine. I will prolly write about things that interest me like comedy, television, cooking, beauty products, tips, etc. and hopefully my grammar will improve along the way:) it should also be mentioned that i have issues with finishing things that i start so hopefu-.......